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Hey there kids! Here in America my brother and I have figured out what it takes to swing so successfully that you can pick up all the American women that your arms can hold. That was a joke.

You would have to have been born and raised in Czechoslovakia to even begin to be as wild and crazy as we are, however you American types have got it together, so even though you are not from Bratislava like us, we think you will learn something from this Guide to American Foxes that we have typed out for you. Don't mention it!

When you finish reading, the next time you meet a beautiful American fox and have bulges of your own, you will know what to do to score with her. Oh, and don't forget to bring along many birth control devices for sex. You can never have enough.



The hardest part about meeting American foxes is introducing yourself. Something like, "Take off your coats so we can see your big American breasts." usually works for us. If the fox is not the swinging type they will probably turn away and talk to their American woman friends. Do not be sad if they do, instead go and tell one of their fox friends the same thing.

Once you have found a fox to talk with, you should introduce yourself."We are two swinging guys who enjoy doing things and can come on to you now." is very good.

My brother and I have found that it is always helpful to have something to talk about with the foxes. To start a conversation we suggest "Tell me, [insert foxes name here], when you have sex, are you loud?" or "How much do you weigh?" It doesn't really matter, so long as they talk back to you. Once the fox has been greeted and the conversation is rolling along, it's time to make the move.

"Look at our slacks. It is because of you that our pouches are stretching."

...may be a little too vague, however:

"Well, I guess you must like us by now, so please give us the number of your apartment so we can go up and have sex with you right now."

...will probably make your intentions known.



Follow these phrases as you meet the American women and you will find they are turned on to you and will want to swing with you.

Love,
Georg and Yortuk Festrunk

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